


But I live in a hologram with you

by emmergefromhell



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Mentions of both real-life reader and MC, Songfic, The fic is semi-realistic, can you feel the angst tonight?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmergefromhell/pseuds/emmergefromhell
Summary: It is an unrequited love, a love between 3D and 2D...
Relationships: Leviathan/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Kudos: 10





	But I live in a hologram with you

**Author's Note:**

> The song I used is Buzzcut Season by Lorde, it gave me a lot of Levi's vibe.  
> It might be a little hard to see why this is a songfic, so I do recommend you reading while listening to the song as well.

…

…

…

_Splash._

_Splash._

_Splash._

_“Don’t swing your legs like that. It’s gonna be a slippery mess, y’know?”_

_Will you notice the water blotches as they splash on the blue porcelain floor coated with a shade of light orange? Do they dissolve into nothingness when they touch your scales? Or do they remain there, looking for a creak between the tiles to run back to the pool?_

_I raised my hand. It landed on your head, your purple mess of hair. They felt dry. It wasn’t wet, though drenched in the everlastingly faint smell of salt. There’s always something so comforting about your scent that I couldn’t put it to words._

_“Are you worried?”_

_I just couldn’t help but smile._

_Why, it’s the sea that placed a smile on my lips._

_You flinched. You flinched and fidgeted, trying so hard to hide your obvious blush running wild across your snowy sun-kissed skin. My hand felt like it’s being heated up by your head._

_Darling, are you feeling sick? It felt so much hotter, I thought your hair was on fire, the way that wildfire kissed your scalp, and caressed your brain, making it haywire._

_But then you nervously laughed and said:_

_“Baby, it’s okay.”_

_And I just laughed with you._

_You had never failed to make me feel at ease._

_“It’s buzzcut season anyway.”_

_You sat down, next to me, brushed my arm and leg intertwined with mine, your eyes twinkling in the sun’s warm hug as it set. You packed a pair of gemstones made of sunset behind your curled lashes. They shone so beautifully, and yet you never noticed how majestic they were._

…

…

…

But my arm feel cold, and as I hug my knees closer, I sniff. There isn’t the coolness that should’ve been coating my legs, and I can’t feel that weight of yours pulling mine closer to you.

I knock gently. I can only stare at you. Your back’s facing me, and all I can do is look. My fingertips trace your spine, tenderly, as I try to imagine how rough it would feel against my nerves. You’re always hunching, it feels different, and that’s what makes it unique to the touch.

It’s as cold as glass.

I take my shaking hand back, the chill creeps through my entire body, and I sigh.

Leviathan.

Leviathan.

Levi.

Can you hear me?

Can you hear that faint buzz of the TV behind you while you’re holding her hand so endearingly?

Can you see how the water you’re submerged in is filling my eyes with so much blues?

…

…

…

_“It’s gonna be evening soon. Let’s go back before Lucifer snaps at us.”_

_I nodded as I hurled my backpack across my right side, setting it down on the dusty floor of the empty bus. There wasn’t anyone but us. The atmosphere was eerily quiet, but we knew that we both enjoyed such silence when we looked into each other’s eye. You nervously waited for me to sit by the window, then took the seat next to mine with anticipation. It was your first time, our first time, alone together on this weird trip that we secretly planned just three days ago, when you rushed to my room, shoving the book of ‘My Best Friend And I Decided To Have A Secret Trip And I Realized My Feelings For Her Were More Than What I Thought’ (my, how I adored your strange ability to read such a title without having to catch your breath midway.) to my puzzled face and just straight up asked me to join you, albeit a little stuttering and lots of cold sweats involved. But I could clearly see your excitement as they glowed under the dim light in my bedroom, and the next moment? We just sneaked away without a care for the world._

_The bus roared lightly to life as we shifted a little on our seats, and when it got more stable, I started to feel somewhat nostalgic looking outside._

_The little pool, now closed behind the fence of black wires, flashing its heavenly blue tints with a drop of dark orange. It’s a lot more magnificent viewing from afar, and better in comparison to seeing it up close, dipping in. When we’re not nesting in its embrace, we felt a shallow emptiness howling in our fluttering hearts. Like our bodies yearning to return, to be drenched and all wet, to have the pungent scent of chlorine floating, wafting around our noses. You must be missing it too, your deep gaze dulled with sadness. After all, the water was your sanctuary. It was your first home, your heaven._

_I hugged my knees closer. Why was the ride so slow? But not painfully slow. Weird, I wished it could’ve just been this slow. I almost didn’t feel like returning to where we were supposed to be, the place we were supposed to call ‘home’. It’s arbitrary and yet it made so much sense. They would never enjoy this quietness for just a single moment. Their lives laid elsewhere, somewhere more lively, more crowded and exciting, while we were becoming slower and slower on this silent ride home. They should’ve seen us. Like this, chilling to the soft humming of the singer on the small television above our heads._

_I shut my eyes and took in that distinct shape of your calloused hand. Your big hand, rough and warm, as it held my hand in gentleness._

_Darling, do you think that her song’s so sad?_

_Why is her voice layered with such concerns, such pain and melancholy while she’s singing so beautifully? It’s like she’s trying to speak to me, to us, like she’s trying to warn us of what we would lose, should our hands part ways._

_I know you won’t let go of me. I just know when I glanced at that vivid blue, I can assure myself that it’ll be fine._

…

…

…

And as I sing, I lay my palpable heart out for you to see.

As I sing, you give me a loving look, a satisfied expression. You close your eyes and let yourself go with the flow of the song.

You are my favorite friend.

So, when you hold me and tell me what we have in common, how you enjoyed our trip and wished it would never end, I smiled. And I kept singing.

You enjoyed it. So I sing.

Although such compliments aren’t meant for me, I will still force my shaking breaths into a siren’s call without a hitch. Without noticing how my tears are running down, how they’re blocking my view of you, and hitting your marvelous face.

Because nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true.

Because I live in a hologram with you inside it.

…

…

…

_I giggled, thinking about the day that had passed._

_We ended up punished for getting home late, but Lucifer could never notice the glances that we secretly exchanged. And it went on for hours before we finally retreated to our own fortresses, our hazy minds still bubbling with joy._

_My D.D.D. stroke a familiar tune from an anime we recently watched together as your messages popped up on the screen._

_[Hey, sorry for getting you involved in that.]_

_[Now I actually felt like I shouldn’t have dragged you in on such a weird plan. I mean, why would you even wanna do that with a yucky, out-of-mind otaku like me?]_

_[But I’d like to be with you on a trip again sometime soon. It was fun. I felt really happy.]_

_[Like, getting a ticket to a private fan meeting with Sucre Frenzy at an 1/1000000 odd, y’know?!]_

_[You surely know how it feels, right? Lolololol]_

_[Ah, I’m sorry, I’m going overboard again. Sorry, sorry. I probably shouldn’t be talking too much about that when our topic is something else unrelated to all my stuffs as an otaku.]_

_[I hope you enjoyed the trip as much as I did.]_

…

…

…

And I smile.

Your enthusiasm never seems to fail at cheering me up. Perhaps it’s a spell you’re secretly casting, or it’s just how cute your dorky, cheerful tone echoes in my head. You know, you are so adorable when you are you, and you can’t see it that way. But I can still see you, and I love you like that.

We’re all the things that we do for fun.

You being an otaku, me being a girl drowned in your vast sea of sparkling sunset whenever we do something fun together.

And I’ll breathe.

And it goes on and on like that.

**_You’re my Lord of Shadow and I’m forever your Henry till the end of time._ **

I will keep on playing along like that, like how you desire to be.

Repeating lies can make someone believe it’s hyper real.

But darling, as I chant it over and over again, the buzzing noises dwarf constantly in my mind, adding to the weight of my heaving head. It’s painful, how my cries will never reach you, seeing how happy you are with her.

Leviathan,

Leviathan,

Levi.

No matter how desperately I chase after your shadow, I will never be able to escape this void. My love will never be enough to fill this endless pit, so I can only sigh and smile bitterly.

_But I live in a hologram with you._

With heads inside a dream, I imagine you whispering soothing comforting words of love, _something that will never be meant for me._


End file.
